Friends
October 29th, 2023 (12 months ago) • 3 minutes
I read some posts/articles about friendships today and began to evaluate where I am in the journey of friendship. Here's the one I resonated with - the practice of friendship
Key takeaways:
- Friends are people with whom you share common ground - where interest and trust are mutual.
- Your character is a reflection of the five closest people around you.
- Friendships can be built online, so don't limit yourself to only those in close proximity.
- Don't approach another person with a specific label or role; allow the relationship to grow naturally.
- Deepening friendships can be fast-tracked by:
- Increasing contact (through collaboration, messages, etc.)
- Having a semi-structured purpose (something to talk about by default, a reason why you both became friends, such as learning new things?)
- Sharing vulnerabilities.
- Maintain friendships by always letting them know when you think of them:
- Remembering birthdays (keeping track of their birthdays two months in advance is a good way to not forget and also things they like).
- Sending short messages.
- Organizing impromptu catch-ups.
- Take more pictures together:
- Consider compiling a photo album for the year to reflect on the journey with the people you met.
- Many friends or Less friends
- Tradeoff of surface level versus deep relationship
- Depends on the end goal what you are comfortable with.
- Three common types of friends. There's a place an time for each - 2 person having different idea of what their relationship is can lead to disappointment.
- Friends of pleasure.
- Friends of utility.
- Friends of virtue (Best of the 3 because they lift people up in term of life values, but hard to achieve because it takes a long time).
What I want to improve on:
- Explore community on Twitter to find like-minded people.
- Regularly message old friends to just catch up (with pure intentions).
- Try to become slightly more extroverted by a degree or two and initiate small talks. (I find I like doing things / keeping thoughts to myself, which prevents me from meeting new people and making new friends)
- Attend networking events.