May 8th, 2024 (4 days ago) • 1 minute

Today is unusually tiring and un-motivational. I am not too sure why?

The feelings sucks because I want to spend time doing something but I am just roaming around the house. Occasionally, taking a nap and waking up quickly after. I thought this helped but it didn't.

I have been on med for the past 2 weeks, taking daily doses of Acutane and Antibiotics. This stuff helped a ton with skin acne but I am definitely experiencing the side effects now. I also cannot each a huge bunch of things because of it. It's like a love-hate relationship with the med.

I feel like a zombie 🧟 Aimless with energy draining off quicker than your iPhone.

I hope this feeling goes away soon.

Some things I am looking forward to for the coming weeks:

• Going out for meals to catch up with friends and colleagues before;
• Leaving to SF
• Resting at home after quitting
• Trip to Bangkok
• Building Onyx (holy, summarization is hard - probably this is a good PhD topic I would do.)
• Time to read and write more

May 7th, 2024 (5 days ago) • 1 minute

"I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times." - Bruce Lee

This is very much applicable to career as well. You will be average if you try to learn everything and be the best in everything. Time is unfortunately finite.

Of course, you don't want to be a 1 trick pony because that limits your options and opinions. Try a few things and identify your T shaped skills.

Choose thoughtfully, Act decisively.

p.s I used to want to be a one man army. It had helped me of course to know a bit of everything, so I can cross relate things outside of my domain. But this didn't scale well.

Roadmap from 2022 where I try to make myself a 10x engineer for any startups :)

May 6th, 2024 (6 days ago) • 2 minutes

Seppuku or Harakiri is the act of taking one's life that was considered honorable. I seen this a lot when I was watching the Shogun series.

Typically there are reasons why a person commit seppuku.

1. If he had lost a battle, he wants to avoid mistreatment by his captors avoid accusations of being a coward.
2. If he had committed a crime, it's more dignified to take his own life in private than to be executed in public, which is shameful.
3. Carrying out the practice of Junshi where a person would follow their lord to death as a way to show supreme loyalty.

I appreciate that this is a cultural thing and it's considered the highest form of honor that a Samurai can do. But I still find it hard to understand why a person would take his own life over something that can be resolved in a different way. For example, to live in remorse or to make amends for the wrong that he had done. Taking one's life is a permanent solution to a temporary problem which only makes it hard for your family and friends.

p.s The practice was eventually banned by the Tokugawa Shogunate in 1663 because it's better to keep the Samurai alive to fight another day.

I'm about to commit Seppuku on myself at work

May 5th, 2024 (7 days ago) • 1 minute

One work practice I have been using is to write before I start any discussion. It's simple yet people generally go into discussion without having thought through their entire argument.

Writing helps to clarify your thoughts and also helps you to see the holes in your argument. I think it works because writing is a slow process - you have to physically think and then move your finger muscle to type each word. This slow process give you that thinking time between each idea.

I usually stay away debate which does not have a written discussion. It's usually a waste of time and does not lead to any conclusion. That's why meetings MUST have a pre-read and an agenda.

May 4th, 2024 (8 days ago) • 2 minutes

For the past 2 week, I was assigned the on-call lead for my team. What this entails is responding to ad-hoc requests from analyst/engineers and helping out during incidents. For me I was also responsible for segregating the tasks and assigning them to my team.

It was exhausting but extremely fun. Part of the appeal for me was the adrenaline rush of being on call because everything is 'urgent' and the satisfaction of solving problems. These problems are usually predictable and can be solved with a bit of experience and knowledge of the system.

I also enjoyed the process of guiding my team throughout this time. S and W are both new joiners so inherently they did not have a full picture of the system. I took this opportunity to help them during their tasks and also to reinforce my own understanding when they asked questions.

I also begun advocating for people to push back and ask more questions when they are unsure. A part of being a good engineer is to be able to define a real problem and to ask the right questions. That said, not all problems require a technical solution and most of the time, just keep it simple solves them.

This is still something I am learning to do better.

May 3rd, 2024 (9 days ago) • 1 minute

Lately I've been trying to be aware of unlearning things so that I can be selective of what I put into my tiny brain.

Everyday, I thought to myself that the world is so much bigger than I thought it was. Just so many interesting things to read, learn and do, but only limited time and space.

By emptying your cup and being open to new ideas, you can learn more. If you are so full of yourself, then everything that you learn will be filtered through your own biases and preconceptions.

May 2nd, 2024 (10 days ago) • 2 minutes

Credits to Visa.

I think I subdue to this thinking a lot in the past. I want to do what most people do because it's safe and it's proven to work. It's easy and familiar because there's already a framework.

But after talking to my manager and people around me, the thought of "Why go for the average when you can go for the exceptional? Why be like most people when you can be the best version of yourself?" grew in me. "Don't settle of mediocrity." said one of my friend.

So from there on, I started to aim high and be more ambitious. To aim for the stars and land on the moon even if I fail. No one said I can't.

At the end of the day, start taking on challenging tasks outside your comfort zone, learning new things, meeting new people, and just make the best use of your limited time here.

May 1st, 2024 (11 days ago) • 2 minutes

I came across this beautiful poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson on his definition of success.

Different from contemporary, materialistic views of success, Emerson's definition is more about the impact one has on the world and the people around them.

On the same note, I also like this quote by him:

Reading about this made me think about how happiness is temporary - they ebb and flow as we go. They are temporary.

Money, fame, power, status - they come as they will go, but the true contributions you make to the society or in the lives of others will last for generations. The good life is about making a difference in the world, not just about chasing happiness and living a comfortable life.

And to know what do means finding your mission, purpose, or Ikigai in life then applying it to the real world.

In a sense, this is what everyone wants to do but only the agentic few actually do. Most people won't.

April 30th, 2024 (12 days ago) • 2 minutes

Old school taxi

The Taxi Cab Theory says that love and relationship does not depends on commitment and effort, it depends on timing. Like a cab, when they are reading for commitment, they will have their lights on. But if their light is off, not matter how hard you try to flag them down, they will never stop for you.

When their light is on, they will immediately pick up the next available passenger. If you are not there, they will pick up someone else. Vice versa if you are not ready, they will pick up someone else. It’s not fate, it’s dumb luck.

I think I might not be ready to turn on my light yet. I still have many things to do that I want to accomplish at least for the next year. Moving to another country is a big thing and I want to enjoy the process. But who knows what comes on after next?

April 29th, 2024 (13 days ago) • 5 minutes

2 years ago, if you asked me whether I would ever go for another studies after my degree, I would have said no. So what changed since then? I guess I can't keep the dream of me living in the US out of my head plus going there with a friend of 11 years makes it even more exciting.

We applied to the same school, same program and eventually landed on similar scholarship at the same school - USFCA.

Schools we applied to and the results. I spent a total of $385 on application fees (about $95 for each school besides the one that got waived).

PhD

• Northwestern - Got an interview but rejected
• Boston - Rejected 🥲
• NEU - Rejected 🥲
• Princeton - Rejected 🥲
• Rice - Rejected 🥲
• Duke - Rejected 🥲

Masters

• UVa - Accepted
• Brown - Accepted
• USFCA - Accepted 🎉

Out of the schools that I got accepted, I chose USFCA because of the location (it's literally at SF - in the middle of everything tech and weird). Also, they offered a practicum program which I thought would be a good opportunity to get some hands-on experience in the industry.

Why Grad School?

The reason I chose to try out PhD programs was mainly because of the opportunity to do research on topics that I was curious - distributed storage and computing. Plus it was fully funded which was definitely a big factor I was considering. But I knew that I had lesser of a chance since I didn't directly publish any papers during my undergraduate studies. Then, I applied to the masters programs as a backup plan and I'm glad I did.

Starting the Process

csranking helped a ton when choosing schools. It showed that your usual prestigious school might not be the best for the field you're interested in. Ivy leagues are not always the best in every field. But one thing I would admit is they are good for the network you get. In those school, you mingle around people with connections and relationships that could help you in the future.

From there, I only had a few schools to choose from since most school require a 4 year degree to apply for graduate school. Coming from an Australian university, I only had 3 years of degree which further limited my choices.

A very common sight across unis

Statement of Purpose

Then it was time to write the statement of purpose. The 1 document that you have to write to convince the school that you're the right candidate for the program. I spent a lot of time on this document. I wrote, rewrote, edited, and rewrote again. I referred to a lot of past reference such as these:

• Structuring your SOP
• Holy grail of submitted SOPs
• Eugenie Lai's blog
• Saujas's blog

Of course, here is mine for Phd and then for Masters. Feel free to use them as reference but please don't copy them.

Letter of Recommendation

Once that is done, it's time for the recommendation letters. I asked 2 of my lecturers and my current manager for the letters. I chose them because they were the ones that I had the most interaction with. I also asked them to write the letters in a way that they could differentiate me from the rest of the applicants by giving them a list of things that I did during my undergraduate studies and my CV so that they could refer to them when writing the letter.

Some good reads before you ask:

• Advice to Writers
• Advice to Students

Others Tips and Resources

1. Write a good CV. I used Jake's template for mine. It's clean and simple.
2. Start way earlier because SOP and LOR takes time to write and edit.
3. Reach out to the professors you want to work with beforehand to establish a relationship. I didn't do this but I heard it helps a lot.
4. Check for waivers. Most school have it if you joined certain info session or are involved in certain organizations.

From https://gradschool.princeton.edu/admission-onboarding/prepare/deadlines-and-fees

5. Check for scholarships. Some schools have scholarships that you can apply for.
6. Leverage on AI like ChatGPT for some help in your essays. Not saying to copy everything, but it's definitely helpful to get some ideas, rephrase sentences etc. My friend and I even went as far as building an app for this. Check out the demo here or code here.

General guides for getting a PhD Admit

• HOWTO: Get into grad school for science, engineering, math and computer science
• For Prospective PhD Students
• The N=1 guide to grad school

p.s Today, I also finally did it. I resigned from my job. I'm so excited to start this new chapter in my life.

An internal sign we used at MoneyLion when someone is leaving