Rules for Happiness

May 21st, 2024 (5 months ago) • 3 minutes

Most people dread life because they think it's hard to be happy. But in reality, it's not. It's easy if we change out perspective on what's possible and be content with what we have.

Scott Young wrote about some of his rules on this topic.

1. Embrace the seasons of your life. Accepting the broadly unchangeable factors of your life while seeking to make the most of the things under your control.

2. Striving is good, but achieving is overrated. Goals, projects, interests and pursuits absorb our attention in positive directions. They take us away from abstract worrying or depressive navel-gazing. Activity is energizing, which is one reason why a crucial part of treatment for depression is simply getting patients to do more things.

3. Meet other people more than halfway. If you believe everyone is self-obsessed, it implies you shouldn’t overweigh how much time others spend thinking about you. Be the one who reaches out to find time to meet. Be the one who congratulates and remembers important events. Be the one who is thoughtful and kind. When you aim to meet people more than halfway, you’re much more likely to connect in the middle.

4. Apologize often. Relationships are, by definition, a series of repeated interactions. In those scenarios, the best strategy is called tit-for-tat with forgiveness. This approach isn’t as soft as being a total pushover, but it also prevents continued cycles of reprisal simply because one person accidentally made a mistake.

5. Stop listening to people who are paid to make you angry. We need to curate our online consumption so that we’re not unwittingly making ourselves miserable over the statistical certainty that someone, somewhere, is doing something awful.

6. Look for small novelties. We spend years earnestly striving toward things we think will bring us happiness, but the truth is that much of happiness lies in little joys and moments that we can easily overlook if we’re not paying attention.

7. Remember everything is a choice. There will always be limits on what we can choose, but there will also always be space within those limits to make a choice. Reminding ourselves of that is often enough to regain the feeling of control, and reduce the feeling of helplessness in facing the things we cannot.