Social Confidence

July 3rd, 2024 (3 days ago) • 3 minutes

Some notes from my morning walk listening to this podcast from The Deep End. It was such a chill conversation between 4 friends talking about deep topics.

some pictures from SF's ferry

some pictures from SF's ferry

Social skills’s foundation is confidence.

Traits for being socially confident

  • eye contact with a smooth gaze
    • don't be weird about it
  • keep your chest up
  • speak slower
    • Silences are okay?
    • Don’t try to to fit it in
  • relaxed muscle
  • be present and paying attention
  • talk like how you want other to talk to you
    • Be loving
    • Enthusiastic
  • never worry about the outcome, focus on the conversation
  • don’t worry about whether they will understand you

How do we build it? A Framework

  • A lot of them come naturally ONLY when you put yourself in a social situation
    • Do it in field, go to social events, do social things or learns it and integrate it in life
  • Visualize that you will do well and you will do well
  • Dance between visualization and action = experience (they go hand in hand)
  • Put yourself in uncomfortable situations so you will be comfortable
  • People who are below you will judge but most people who are above don’t, so why care?
    • Are you okay with internalizing it?

Ending a conversation

  • Be willing to do it yourself and do it for compassion, not just because you are taking control
  • If you finish reading the book, just mark it with a bookmark and close I

How to start

  • Start with things you like to do
  • Places you like to be
  • Socialize with people you kind of want to make friend or just you can talk to
  • Lead with good vibes and people will pick it up

Ending words

Often you are are overthinking words before saying it, but it probably wasn’t as bad as you think it is.

And the downside is that the easiest way to be forgotten is to just stays reserved because you are insecure about speaking.

So just do it man.

Speak up your mind or preference but practice strong opinions, loosely held. Learn how to know voicing words without coming out strong