Why Making Decisions is So Difficult

December 7th, 2023 (11 months ago) • 3 minutes

Humans don't like decision-making because it's hard.

More so, if it's the first time we are making such a decision and if it's a decision that could potentially alter our lives. Personal examples from myself include when I had to choose:

• between staying in Malaysia or moving to America for further study
• between staying with an established company in Malaysia or going with a fast-growing startup in Vietnam

Why is it hard?

1. Choice = Loss

   Each choice we make means that we are losing out on something potentially better. This is the opportunity cost of making a decision. This is why we often feel regret after making a decision. We feel that we could have made a better decision.

   Since we don't want this to happen, we procrastinate and avoid making that decision.

2. Making the Wrong Choice

   Because of this fear, we end up in a state of analysis paralysis - leading to us sticking with the norm or simply doing nothing. Or we listen to our parents or mentors and follow their advice blindly.

3. Not Knowing What We Want

   The logical choice is not always the option that will make you the happiest

   Decision-making should not be all analytical; the emotional aspect should also be a part of it - allowing us to get what we desire.

4. Waiting for More Data

   More data is obviously better to allow us to make a data-driven decision. But sometimes, we take this as a reason for us to procrastinate. It's fine if we are intentionally waiting, but it shouldn't be an excuse as that could cause the decision to be no longer valid.

How to Make it Easier?

1. Be Aware of Decision Avoidance

   Pay attention to what you do or feel when you are making a decision and procrastinating it. Then when you do notice it, drop out of that thought process and find out the factor why you are avoiding it.

2. Know Your Desires

   Know what you want and what you don't want. This is often shaped from your daily experiences but paying extra close attention to them will help you to know yourself better.

3. Practice Willingness

   Making a decision is easier when we are willing to make space for the fear and potential loss caused by the decision. This is because we are not trying to avoid the fear and instead, we are embracing it.

   Build the muscle memory to make choices that reflect who you are and what you want.

Question to reflect on

• What's the hardest part about the choice you're sitting with?
• By saying “yes” to either option, what would you be saying “no” to?
• When you imagine each option, how do you feel in your body?
• If no one ever knew what you chose, what would you prefer?
• What do you think a close friend or family member would say about what would make you happy or content?
• If you were more willing to experience fear and uncertainty, what might you do?